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Jim Porter fishing articles


THINGS SOUTHERN FOLKS KNOW

BY JIM PORTER

  • We know the difference between having a 'hissie fit' and a 'conniption fit'.
  • We know just about many fish it takes to make up a 'mess'.
  • We know the general direction that 'cattywampus' is.
  • We know that 'gimme sugar' doesn't mean to pass the sugar bowl.
  • We know that when somebody's fixin' to do something, it won't be long in getting done.
  • We know the difference between Yankees and damn Yankees.
  • We know how good a cold grape Nehi is with bologna and crackers at an old country store.
  • We know what 'Well, I Suwannee!' means.
  • We know there ain't no biscuits like Grandma's biscuits.
  • We know a good dog is worth its weight in gold.
  • We know real gravy doesn't come from a store shelf.
  • We know when 'by and buy' is.
  • We know the difference between 'pert near' and ' a right fer piece'.
  • We know the differences between a 'redneck'. A 'good ole boy', and 'trailer trash'.
  • We know never to go snipe hunting but once.
  • We know what happens, as a young'un, when you swallow tobacco juice.
  • We know not to assume that car with the left turn signal on is going to actually turn left.
  • We know that you can wear long sleeves, but you gotta always roll them up past your elbows.
  • We know you should never loan you tools, pick-up truck, or gun to anyone.
  • We know a belt serves a much greater purpose in Life than holding up Daddy's britches.
  • We know rocking chairs and porch swings are sure stress relievers.
  • We know that a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet.
  • We know that, if you think you have forgotten something, you can bet your bippy you certainly have.
  • We know that kids are a national treasure.
  • We know what Genuine Imitation Rex Jelly tastes like on a big, hot biscuit.
  • We know that, after he/she is elected, a politician's ONLY real goal is to be re-elected.
  • We know that advertising means nothing when it comes to price or quality, and is only designed to get you into the store.
  • We know that good people outnumber the bad people of the World.
  • We know we should strive to save the children before we campaign to save the whales.
  • We know that fishing is meditation, not sport.
  • We know that War is old people sending young people off to die.
  • We know where to step in the barnyard.
  • We know that sticks and stones may break ours bones, and are sure it will hurt like hell.
  • We know Jesse Jackson stepped on it pretty good.
  • We know 'ya'll' means the whole passel of us.
  • We know a weak man may really be stronger than all of us.
  • We know 'out yonder' mean 'not in the house'.
  • We know who 'whats-his-name' really is.
  • We know which end is up.
  • We know which side to butter bread on.
  • We know that, if you don't live there, don't try to tell others how they should live.
  • We know the first cry of a newborn baby.
  • We know what Bubba's real name is.
  • We know that dope peddlers should die for poisoning children.
  • We know lawyers don't understand anything either, but are allowed by law to negotiate with other lawyers on the same grounds of ignorance.
  • We know the south did rise again, even if William Jefferson Clinton made it slip down a couple of notches.
  • We know that you don't have to cut in line to pay for your groceries.
  • We know when a service station actually used to be a service station.
  • We know that war is not good for children and other living things.
  • We know 'getouttahee' means you'd better dang well hurry and go.
  • We know it's them dumb southerners who sell bottled water to them smart Yankees.
  • We know professional wrestling is fake, but it's a good excuse to drink cold beer out of a Dixie cup and holler at a 'bad' guy.
  • We know we ain't never gonna be rich, but a lot of poor southern folks are, in ways others will never realize.
  • We know God's alive because we still are.



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A common question that we get: "Is there somewhere close to get bait and tackle?" This is where we get our bait.


Pete and Tina Heinz / 9 South Mulberry St. / Fellsmere, FL 32948 / 772-571-9855




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