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You Might Be a Fisherman IF:
By Jim Porter
The following traits of a dedicated angler were complied from years of wasted childhood and adult life spent chasing little green fish. If the only 50% seem to apply to you, you are obviously in a heap-o-trouble, boy. I would feel sorry for you, too. But, then, who am I to fight destiny.
Jim P
You Might Be A Fisherman, If ---
- You have a power worm dangling from you rear view mirror because you think it makes a good air freshener.
- You wedding party has to tie the tin cans to the back of your boat.
- You call your boat "Sweetheart" and your wife "Skeeter."
- The local tackle shop has your credit card number on file.
- You keep a flipping stick by your favorite chair to change the TV channels with.
- You get 40-to-Life because your teenager asked you to buy a Jet Ski.
- You named your black lab "Mercury" and your cat "Evinrude".
- Bass Pro Shop has a private line and operator just for you.
- You honeymooned on Lake Okeechobee - ALONE.
- You have your name painted on a parking space at the Eastland Creek launch ramp.
- You have a photo of your 10-lb. bass on your desk at work instead of your family.
- You consider Viennies and crackers a complete dining experience.
- You think MEGABYTES means a great day fishing.
- You send your kid off to school the first day with his shoes tied in a Palomar knot.
- Your wife wears green lipstick so you'll kiss her more.
- You think there are four seasons - Pre-spawn, Spawn, Post spawn and Hunting.
- Your $30,000 boat's trailer needs tires, so you "borrow" the ones off your trailer house.
- Your wife tells you she is feeling "frisky"; but, you don't know what she means until she explains she wants to spawn.
- You trade your wife's car for a smaller vehicle so your boat will fit in the garage.
- Your kids know it's Saturday - because the boat is gone.
- Your rain suit costs more than the rest of your clothes put together.
- Your boat trailer is welded to the hitch on the truck.
- Every time you get into the truck, you look for the kill switch before the key.
- You know that 'walking-the-dog' doesn't require a leash, nor a dog.
- The Parks Commission gives you a 100% attendance certificate for weekends at the boat ramp.
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