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Jim Porter fishing articles


You Might Be a Fisherman IF:

By Jim Porter


The following traits of a dedicated angler were complied from years of wasted childhood and adult life spent chasing little green fish. If the only 50% seem to apply to you, you are obviously in a heap-o-trouble, boy. I would feel sorry for you, too. But, then, who am I to fight destiny.

Jim P

You Might Be A Fisherman, If ---
  1. You have a power worm dangling from you rear view mirror because you think it makes a good air freshener.
  2. You wedding party has to tie the tin cans to the back of your boat.
  3. You call your boat "Sweetheart" and your wife "Skeeter."
  4. The local tackle shop has your credit card number on file.
  5. You keep a flipping stick by your favorite chair to change the TV channels with.
  6. You get 40-to-Life because your teenager asked you to buy a Jet Ski.
  7. You named your black lab "Mercury" and your cat "Evinrude".
  8. Bass Pro Shop has a private line and operator just for you.
  9. You honeymooned on Lake Okeechobee - ALONE.
  10. You have your name painted on a parking space at the Eastland Creek launch ramp.
  11. You have a photo of your 10-lb. bass on your desk at work instead of your family.
  12. You consider Viennies and crackers a complete dining experience.
  13. You think MEGABYTES means a great day fishing.
  14. You send your kid off to school the first day with his shoes tied in a Palomar knot.
  15. Your wife wears green lipstick so you'll kiss her more.
  16. You think there are four seasons - Pre-spawn, Spawn, Post spawn and Hunting.
  17. Your $30,000 boat's trailer needs tires, so you "borrow" the ones off your trailer house.
  18. Your wife tells you she is feeling "frisky"; but, you don't know what she means until she explains she wants to spawn.
  19. You trade your wife's car for a smaller vehicle so your boat will fit in the garage.
  20. Your kids know it's Saturday - because the boat is gone.
  21. Your rain suit costs more than the rest of your clothes put together.
  22. Your boat trailer is welded to the hitch on the truck.
  23. Every time you get into the truck, you look for the kill switch before the key.
  24. You know that 'walking-the-dog' doesn't require a leash, nor a dog.
  25. The Parks Commission gives you a 100% attendance certificate for weekends at the boat ramp.



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